Tuesday, October 14, 2008

hurry up.... and wait

For some reason this Jordin Sparks song keeps reappearing in my life. Very rarely do I watch vh1 in the am, yet while having some breakfast like 2 weeks ago I turned to that channel and this video was on. I watched it, thought about the words, and ever since it's on repeat... in my head of course.
I know, once again it's been how many weeks since I blogged? But we're not going to go there. I just came in from a run, and feel the need to write. While running for a solid hour so many thoughts travel through my head and with no one to come home and spread all of my ponderings to, this is the best way to get them out.
Hurry up, and wait... speaking of which I had to hurry up and get out of school today so I could squeeze in a nice run, only rushing of course to now wait.... wait for what? Well, I need to wait for a moving company to deliver my new futon. Finally, some furniture for upstairs! Still needs a lot of decorating, but furniture first. So I am waiting...... all day I was waiting actually. In fact it's been over two years that my whole family has been waiting, waiting, and taking one step at a time. Diseases of any kind are tough to battle with, especially when part of the healing process is just waiting. Waiting to see what meds do and don't work, waiting to see how surgeries heal, waiting for infections to disappear, waiting for doctor's news, waiting for test results, waiting for any good news. Well after lots of waiting I got bad news yesterday. While shopping at Shaw's I got a phone call. "Hello?" I say... "Hey Jul, you sound sick." (Dad) "Yeah well I am, I've been fighting off a cold." (me) "Well, you're not the only one who's sick, your brother is too." (Dad) ....more words, followed by my tears.... never before have I welled up with in an aisle of Halloween candy. Long story short, my brother has been having pain... went in for an mri and cat scan and it turns out there is a hole in his pouch, so he's having surgery tomorrow afternoon to repair the hole. It sounds good, although this means he also has to have the ostomy bag put back on to his stoma, so he won't be able to go to the bathroom again. I think I am more frustrated than his is, he has been so calm throughout this entire struggle, it truly amazes me. I can't imagine myself in his shoes, yet have felt his pain along the way. Everyday I hope and pray that this struggle will soon come to an end, in a positive way.... even though a couple of weeks ago the end looks like it was in sight, I guess it was just another turn in the road and there's a lot more road to go in the distance again.
Well I waited long enough... I was interrupted a little while ago, my new futon is here! (Not the exact color I thought it would be... thought it would be a darker brown, but I will make it work!.. to quote Tim Gunn... speaking of which, I am bummed that I no longer get Bravo, I miss Project Runway!)
On a more positive note, I had some great positivity with the team this weekend. We did a great run and yoga session in Uxbridge, then had the Wayland XC race on Sunday. It wasn't my best performance by any means, but the girls team got first for the day and the guys got second. Just being there with everyone, catching up again and being among positive friends and teammates is wonderful. I am looking forward to more of it!

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